Forgetful as a strategy
Forgetting is bliss, I have come to realise. I no longer worry about it. On the contrary, I relish and cultivate it. Forgetting allows my mind to sift the fluff from the meaningful, the horrible from the warming. It means I don’t necessarily have to get wound up about the bad stuff, I can park it in the “forget it” lot. It also means I don’t always have to forgive: I can choose to forget instead. Which makes me feel a whole lot better. I don’t want to forgive people who have done horrid things to me, but I won’t let them win by having them ruin my happiness either. Forgetting is the perfect solution. If they have been truly horrible I trust my memory to jig me if I ever were to cross their path again. Just in case I have an opportunity to return the favour. Should I want to. I am not sure I would want to, but I like to keep my options open.
Forgetting is also plain practical. By only remembering the important things I can unclutter my mind and find the information that matters more quickly. I admit that I tend to make a note of very important things – hell I even set reminders for the must-dos. That is not cheating: it is relieving my mind and telling it not to worry. Belt and braces. Mind can’t do wrong – relax.
I can tell you with my hand on my heart that I have never, so far, forgotten anything that really mattered. I have lost lots of trivia on the way, but that just means I can rediscover them as new should I ever come across them. Of course I wouldn’t know it wasn’t the first time.
I read that the mind hardwires circuits it uses frequently, making those paths top of the list in your mind. It is a virtuous circle, and it provides scientific proof for my empirical advice. So, try the forgetful strategy or ignore at your peril.